Blogger Perez Hilton outed as being straight


In a shocking turn of events reminiscent of the outing of celebrity designer Bobby Trendy as being straight, another famous celebrity has been outed as being completely heterosexual.

Ponderings from Pluto recently discovered celebrity blogger Perez Hilton (real name: Mario Armando Lavandeira, Jr., an American born of Cuban parents)  leaving a hotel room with a beautiful young woman, and it was obvious from the look on his face that they werne’t in there sharing celebrity gossip.

Later, Hilton was found smooching with the young woman as they headed back up to the hotel room.

“Being ‘openly gay’ is the fashionable thing to be,” Hilton said. “It was only an act. It’s the trendy thing to do, and declaring myself as openly gay has helped launch my career.”

Hilton apologized for living a lie but says he figures now he should be true to himself and come out of the closet and declare himself a red-blooded heterosexual.

Perez Hilton has in the past been openly gay and has even tried to out celebrities he’s accused of being in the closet. Such as Jodie Foster, Clay Aiken and Lieutenant Jim Dangle, who wears the short, tight shorts on Reno! 911.

More recently, Hilton was assaulted after calling Black Eyed Pea frontman a gay slur that starts with an “f”. The action led some to wonder if Hilton was merely a latent heterosexual in deep denial.


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