Obama administration to begin tackling Y10K problem

April 29, 2009

To prevent a future panic and potential meltdown in whatever technology our distant descendants may come up with, the Obama administration has announced plans to begin dealing with what experts call a potential “Y10K” problem.

In 1999, the Y2K rage led banks and other companies to change their software, changing the two-digit years into four digits. The fear was that computers that read 99 as 1999 wouldn’t accidentally read 00 as 1900 instead of 2000. So, 99 became 1999 and 00 became 2000.

But in the year 10,000, this may still not work.

Once the computer dates change from the year 9999 to 0000, the fear is computers will read 0000 as A.D. 0; instead of the year 10,000, the computer would think it’s operating during the time of Jesus Christ’s birth. This, potentially, could destroy whatever technology has been attained and force future generations to rely on old technology: gas-powered engines, land-line telephones and computers without artificial intelligence (such as the Commodore 64).

“My administration will lead to the way to protect future generations from global catastrophe,” President Obama said.

The president encouraged Congress to get busy and pass legislation since there are only 7,991 years left until the year 10,000.

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A funny story I heard once

April 10, 2009

I first encountered this story while in the service. I doubt it’s true, but to me, it’s absolutely hilarious. A meandering read, but if you like off-beat humor, you’ll probably like this…

So, I was leaving the mall one day. I pulled out of my parking spot and drove toward the exit when another car from behind raced past me and cut me off. “Watch where you’re going, Jackass!” I screamed. The driver, a man, flipped me off and kept on driving.

I thought that would be the end, until I noticed that the car had a “For Sale” in the back window. I remembered the phone number and wrote it down as soon as I got the chance.

Later that day, I called the number from a pay phone. “Hello.” I said to the man who answered and identified himself as Steve. “I’m interested in buying your car.”

“Really?” he asked. “Would you like to come by sometime to this week to see it?”

“Well, no, this week isn’t really good for me. But I do have something very important to tell you.”

“What’s that?”

“YOU’RE A JACKASS!” I screamed, and immediately hung up.

Over the next week, I would randomly call Steve from different payphones, scream “JACKASS!” and hang up. Many laughs.

Finally, when going through the want ads, I noticed the phone number of a different man, this one named Sam selling a similar car. I did the same thing, calling him Jackass for about a week.

I called Steve back and was about to call him Jackass again when he interrupted me. “I’m sick and tired of you calling me jackass!” he yelled. “If I ever see you, I’m gonna kick your butt!”

“Well, how about if I save you the trouble and come over myself?” I asked.

“Great,” Steve said. “I live on 2915 Spring Rain Drive!”

“Got it!” I yelled. “I’ll be there in an hour!”

“I’ll be waiting outside!” steve yelled.

I called Sam, telling him he was a jackass in desperate need of being beaten up. “Well, why don’t you try to do it?” he sneered.

“I’d be glad to,” I told Sam. “I’m Steve, and my address is 2915 Spring Rain Drive. Come over if you dare, you sissy!”

“I’m on my way right now. I’ll be there in about an hour,” Sam said, hanging up.

I waited about 30 minutes and called the police. I identified myself as Sam and said I was headed over to 2915 Spring Rain Drive to murder Steve, my estranged lover who had just ended our 10-year relationship and had left me for a Chippendale Dancer.

So, if you see tonight’s news and see the two men beating each other to a pulp in front of all the television crews and police cars, now you know why.