2009 Concert Set List, Backstage Rider of ‘A Flock of Seagulls’ Revealed

A Flock of Seagulls, back in the day when New Wave was in and America hadn’t been hit by New Coke yet.

Yes, that same eighties one-hit wonder band that you thought had long since been disbanded is still alive and performing.

Notice that we didn’t say “alive and well”. That’s because the only original band member of the oceanic birds has been the lead singer and keyboardist, Mike Score, a former hairdresser whose wavy, oversized avarian hairstyle became the band’s trademark.

The band is perhaps best known for its 1982 hit “I Ran (So Far Away)”. Over the years, band members have come and gone, but the U.K. band still travels and performs.

In fact, they’re scheduled to perform a concert October 10 at the auditorium of San Antonio East Central High School. Ponderings From Pluto has obtained a set list of what A Flock of Seagulls will perform in their concert:

1. Tuning instruments while lead singer Score tells a funny story told to him by Prince Charles’ personal dentist

2. Thanking the crowd for attending and encouraging them to download “I Ran”, even if it’s through Limewire or an illegal site.

3. I Ran

4. Guitar solo

5. I Ran — acoustic version

6. Keyboard solo

7. I Ran — bluegrass version

8. I Ran — death metal version

9. Bass solo

10. I Ran — opera version

11. I Ran — tejano version with Spanish lyrics (“Weird Al” Yankovic is rumored to make a guest appearance with his accordion)

12. Drum solo

13. I Ran — techno version

14. Restroom break for band

Encore — “I Ran” sang to the tune of KISS’s song “Rock and Roll All Nite”

 

As for the Seagulls’ concert rider, we learn they have some extremely strict backstage demands:

1. Running water

2. Ritz crackers

3. Bathrooms that have been cleaned in the past two weeks

4. Three 12-packs of toilet paper, store brand’s ok

5. A microwave

6. Assortment of Swanson frozen TV dinners

7. Three loaves of Wonder bread

8. A tin of biscuits (NOTE: biscuits are what you Americans refer to as COOKIES)

9. Assorted disposable drinking and eating utensils.

10. Two bottles each of red and white wine. If it’s not asking too much, we prefer Corbet Canyon wine (we don’t know if it’s good, but the commercials are kind of cool)

11. Napkins

12. Two rooms at a nearby Motel 6 (we’ll also use those as dressing rooms)

In case you were wondering about the song, here it is for your viewing pleasure

Richard Zowie runs several blogs besides this one and sometimes even posts here using the pseudonym C.F. Twob. Send comments to ponderingsfrompluto@gmail.com.

Wil Wheaton finishes filming scenes for upcoming ’24’ season

Actor Wil Wheaton has just finished filming his scenes for the upcoming season of 24, and the actor says he couldn’t be happier.

“I had the time of my life,” Wheaton told Ponderings From Pluto‘s C.F. Twob. “There were a few scenes where my character hits Jack Bauer hard enough to draw blood, and I joked with Kiefer [Sutherland] that was payback for his character harrassing me in Stand By Me.”

As previously reported here, Wheaton will play an American Muslim who’s actually a rogue Israeli Mossad agent undercover.

The actor declined to say whether or not his character had been killed off.

Sean Penn to reprise Jeff Spicoli character in ‘Fast Times at Ridgemont High’ sequel

Actor/director/political activist/know-it-all Sean Penn has signed on to reprise his stoned surfer Jeff Spicoli character in a sequel to the early eighties hit Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

The movie will be known simply as Fast Times at Ridgemont High 2 and will track the lives of its primary characters.

In an exclusive interview with Ponderings From Pluto, Penn spoke to reporter C.F. Twob about the project:

C.F. Twob: Sean, how did this sequel come about?

Sean Penn: Well, I was bored with winning a few Oscars and decided to revisit a character I haven’t played in a long time.

CFT: Jeff Spicoli, you mean.

SP: Yes.

CFT: Will it be hard to get back into character after such a long layoff?

SP: No, not really. Jeff says stupid, off-the-wall things and so do I. Sometimes I think I never really got out of character. You know, sometimes it feels as if Jeff Spicoli’s been playing Sean Penn and not the other way around.

CFT: I take it you smoked a lot of marijuana during the filming of Fast Times.

SP: I noticed you used the past tense, “smoked”. You assume I don’t smoke pot anymore.

CFT: If you still smoke pot, would that account for some of your crazy political assertions, such as how Bill O’Reilly and Howard Stern should be traded for Osama bin Laden and how President Bush was a crazy man?

SP: Yeah. It would also account for the flattering columns I wrote about Iraq and Iran for the San Francisco newspapers.

Penn spoke during the interview about some plot points from the new movie, but he asked that they not be revealed due to the script still being finalized.

Questions? Comments? Leave a comment here at the blog posting or go to ponderingsfrompluto@gmail.com.

Pleasure in torturing terrorists: a PFP commentary by C.F. Twob

By C.F. Twob

Columnist and founder of Ponderings From Pluto

This past weekend, I attended a flea market and was looking for some shirts to purchase for wearing around the house. A few caught my eye. They read: “Gun Control Means Using Both Hands”, “If Liberals Had Any Brains They’d Be Conservatives” and “Was Sean Penn Playing Jeff Spicoli or Is Jeff Spicoli Playing Sean Penn?”

And then there was one great one, one that’s funny, sarcastic and sends a great political message:

“I Love Torturing Terrorists”!

Isn’t that great? After all, people think waterboarding is torture (if only they ever read about what our men suffered in the Hanoi Hilton and what Chinese dissidents suffer in the Bamboo Gulags and what Cubans on Castro’s bad list suffer). But think about it: without torture, would we have all the leads we’ve had in the war on terror? Do you think Al Qaeda insurgents would give up their plans and their friends if we offered them all the virgins they could sleep with and all the cigarettes they could smoke?

No.

Torturing terrorists helps us get information to keep this country safe, so, therefore, I love torturing terrorists!

Kanye West has too much ‘sippy sippy’, unleashes disturbing details

An hour or so after embarrassing himself and Taylor Swift at the Video Music Awards, Kanye West helped himself to too much cognac (or as he likes to call it, “sippy sippy”), and let out some disturbing details about himself.

In an exclusive interview with Ponderings from Pluto, West revealed the following:

“I’m a media whore. Period. This crashing Swift’s acceptance speech was all about marketing. Publicity. I don’t give a sh*t about Beyonce or her career–it was all about ME.”

“George Bush don’t care about nobody. Neither does Barack Obama. The only president who would care about anybody would be ME.”

“Why the f*ck is ‘cognac’ spelled k-o-g-n-a-k? Shouldn’t it be kone-yak?”

“Forget Elvis. Forget the Beatles. Forget everybody. I am the greatest entertainer in the world!”

Heart Tribute Band, ‘Gall Bladder’, to make debut

For Ann and Nancy Wilson, imitation appears to be the most sincerest form of flattery.

Describing itself as a tribute band of the seventies and eighties pop rock band “Heart”, a group of San Antonio-based friends have announced they are forming a Heart tribute band.

Identifying themselves as Mike J., Sammy K., Stacie Z., Sally L. and Billy R., the five singers will perform as a tribute band and sing such Heart classics as “Barracuda”, “Alone”, “These Dreams” and other songs.

Their name: Gall Bladder.

“I don’t know if we picked it because we were all high at the time, but it just sounded right,” said Sally L. “We’d heard this weird rumor that when Ann and Nancy Wilson first formed the band, they wanted to name it after an internal organ. They thought ‘Brain’ sounded too nerdy and that ‘Gall Bladder’ sounded to autopsyish. ‘Intestine’, of course, was out. They chose Heart instead. We think ‘Gall Bladder’ suits us well, since some will say we have a lot of ‘gall’ to try to duplicate Heart.”

Neither of the Wilson sisters could be reached for comment. They have been best known lately for publicly prohibiting John McCain’s failed presidential campaign from using the song “Barracuda” to introduce running mate Sarah Palin (who was nicknamed Sarah Barracuda in high school).